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  The sky was filled with angry formations, the air was tender. Droplets fell from the sky faster than my windshield wipers could clear my view. The birds were silent, causing the sound of the rain to nearly echo as it fell. My heart was tired that day, just exhausted from the everyday struggle. The pitter patter against the glass made me anxious in one way, and at the very same time it calmed me. Anxiety roamed my mind, just loud enough to remind me he was looming. Lingering somewhere in the darkness of my conscious, telling me something horrible was going to happen. Whispering tormenting thoughts of my past and screaming uncertainties of my future, or lack thereof. The falling beads also brought some form of comfort, a familiarity. I have spent my fair share of time wiping similar droplets from my eyes.   Sometimes because circumstances were so much bigger than myself, other times because the goodness of the Father overwhelmed me. Every once in a while, tears would fall ...
This is vulnerable. It's real and it's raw. It's emotional. It's divorce. I come to the throne again, weak and worn. Exhausted from this never ending fight. Grieving the loss of the family I always dreamed my children would have. Saying goodbye to what I thought was forever. Clinging for dear life to the cross of my beloved Savior. Hanging on to every promise written for me in His word. Bringing myself broken before him again and again, knowing he never tires. My words today are few, I'm weary and battle worn. But He is faithful. If I am certain of any one thing, just for today, I know that his promises over me and my children are true. We will rise from glory to glory. These difficult days will not define any one of us.