Beautifully Broken & Gracefully Redeemed

I've walked the lonely halls of hopelessness. The darkness is all consuming, the stench of impending doom fills the atmosphere. Nothing feels safe, nobody feels safe. Everywhere I turn is disappointment and heartache. Everyone who once meant anything to me is now a distant memory of another failed relationship. Failure has become my middle name, shame a close second. Echoes of the past haunt my dreams and memories alike. Uncertainties of the future torment me, whispering the lies that I am utterly alone. What is there to learn in a place of so much devastation? Would the God of the universe really reach into this dreadful place to redeem me? I know he is faithful, I have seen it first hand in the lives of other people. What about me though? When will he move mountains for me? I long for the days that my hope was set on a firm foundation, when nothing could shake me. The only hope I have left is the little bit of faith that I am clinging too. Dare I put my hope in one I cannot see?

  I’ve wandered far from home, and I can feel that I am coming to the end of myself. Whispers in my heart call my name, from a voice that I cannot deny. The same voice that spoke and told the waters where to stop, speaks to the inner depths of who I am. Calling me home, beckoning for my to return. Mercy draws me to repentance, as grace covers my transgressions. A reassurance fills my spirit, reminding me of God’s faithfulness. I am nearly embarrassed to give him what is left of my broken heart.   I do not know how I ended up here, in this foreign land of uncertainty and unbelief. He meets me in my brokenness and I crumble under his presence, there is no high that can compare. I lay my scattered fragments of what remains at the foot of the cross, and I just sit there in his presence. Oh, I never want to leave.

  Have you ever found yourself in an emotional tornado? Where everything is happening all at once and your world is spinning out of control? Where the only option you have is to stand and watch your entire life circle around you? Banging off the ground – flying in the air. Everything that has ever meant anything to you is free game to the storm. That sounds like the hard part. Oh darling, I wish I could tell you it was. The storm itself is terrifying and damaging. But going through the ruble of what used to be is far, far worse.   I would rather stand in the middle of a room and see what I have swarming around me, than to look at the ruins that are leftover. Memories soaked with tears are all that are left. Walk through the ruins of your mind to see that nothing is as it used to be. The tornado was a defining moment in time that everything will be measured by from now on. At some point you have to start picking up the broken pieces of what remains and start to build again. You’ll feel